Choosing the people who will stand next to you on your big day is an important task. There are many factors at play, including feeling obligated to ask certain people and selecting a number of attendants that works for you and your partner. We’re sharing some tips to make this process a little less stressful.

Consider carefully

As tempting as it is to ask all your closest friends to be in your wedding party, you should spend some time to consider carefully who you want by your side. Ask yourself if you’ll still be close with each person five years from now and if everyone meshes well with each other. It’s also important to prepare yourself in case someone says no. Being in a wedding party can be expensive and time consuming, and some people may not be able to take on the responsibility, no matter how much she loves you. On another note, you don’t have to include someone just because you were in her wedding party, especially if you don’t regularly speak or have lost touch.

You’ll also want to consider the size of your wedding. One to two attendants fit well with smaller weddings (50-60 guests),while larger affairs (150+ people) can get away with 10+ people on each side. If you want a larger wedding party, all the power to you! However, it’s important to note that the larger the wedding party, the more opinions and personalities you’ll have to wrangle with.  Big groups also become cumbersome when coordinating bachelor/bachelorette parties with different schedules.

Include brothers and sisters

This is an important tradition you don’t want to neglect. Even if you’re not close with your partner’s siblings, it’s nice to include them as they will soon be family to you too. Chances are this will also be a bonding experience! If either one of you comes from a big family and can’t include everyone, consider making some people a part of the ceremony by having them pass out programs or ushering guests to their seats (especially if they’re much younger).

There are no rules

Remember: despite what we said above, there are actually no firm rules to follow when choosing your wedding party! If you’re a bride, you can have men on your side of the aisle, and grooms can have women by their side. Bridesmaids don’t have to wear dresses if they don’t want to. Choose two best men or maids of honor if that’s what you want. It’s all up to you.